Today in the 15 minutes break before D block, everyone went crazy in Room 331. There are several boys chasing each other in the classroom. As these boys are chasing each other, one of the boys that is wearing Stephen Curry’s shoes virtually tripped over a girl that is talking to two other girls. Both of the bystanders are shocked, one female witness even said: “Hey man, what are you doing?” However, the girl that virtually tripped the Stephen Curry’s shoes boy started chasing and yelling at him. The whole situation got even crazier and out of control.
On the other hand, there were three girls fooling around with a boy. The three girls are all laughing really crazily that the bystanders couldn’t even tell the reason. As the class is going to start, the tallest girl of the three girls even started to climb over the window to get inside the classroom even though the doors are not locked.
However, the rest of the students are mostly surfing on facebook in the classroom. They seemed to be isolated. Suddenly, as the students that are playing around saw the teacher walking toward the classroom, they shut their mouth and ran back to their seats as fast and quiet as they could.
As the teacher stepped in the classroom, the atmosphere was really abnormal. Every student is acting normal. The teacher stared at them for a second, then, she started the class.
September 6, 2016 at 8:33 am
I can tell by the article how strange the atmosphere is at that time when everyone’s acting crazy. I like how you use strong words and sentences to emphasize some parts of your article. I really think you did a great job. 🙂
September 6, 2016 at 1:40 pm
I think your news article is filled with vitality and also very creative. My suggestion is that you can focus your writing on a more news-article tone. Well done! 😀
September 6, 2016 at 11:09 pm
A clear story line is starting to emerge from your article. Your article focused on how students interact during the 15 minute break. Although you didn’t really mention it in the article, it shows how students getting out of control is an issue. Descriptive terms were used in the article to vividly describe the situation and the characters’ actions. Overall, you did a awesome job describing the scene and the atmosphere of the article. I really like the part where you described how the atmosphere changed! You could improve your work by fixing some of your sentence structures to make your article clearer. Great work, keep it up! 😉
September 7, 2016 at 8:16 am
You explain the scenes very well in detail, especially the crazy part, to emphasize how extraordinary it is. You made the story very exciting, so the readers won’t get bored. You used transition words to make the essay easy to understand. Good job! 😀