I’m not that petty, seriously.
I didn’t know that I’d actually get a chance to observe a fundamental attribution error in real life after having studied it in psychology recently.
One of our clubs has traditionally predetermined positions. Recently, we decided to invite people from other schools to partake our event to get new ideas from people outside of KAS. Therefore, we turned one of our members down when she expressed her interest in running. She justified my decision by believing that I didn’t allow her to run solely for my personal gain, which led to a misunderstanding that hindered communication, which was eventually resolved as we announced our reason for making our decision to the whole exec team.
Who Sent You Here?
These minor misunderstandings in real life connect to The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot, in which misunderstanding takes a huge role in the character development and plot twists.
“‘Who are you working for?’ she snapped. ‘John Hopkin?'” (283).
How my personality was overemphasized in the situation described reminded me of how Skloot was misunderstood by Deborah Lacks, Henrietta’s daughter who accompanied Skloot on her research on Henrietta Lacks and her cells. Skloot’s intent of writing the book wasn’t to gain profit or help Johns Hopkins as Deborah had believed so. Both situations from my real life experience and in the book showcase how predisposed beliefs can easily lead to misunderstandings.
“As the debate over ownership of human tissues played out around the country, the Lacks brother continued to tell anyone who’d listen that Johns Hopkins had stoken their mother’s cells and owed them millions of dollars” (206).
Other misunderstandings took place due to the lack of knowledge. While the dynamics on the views of tissue ownership had been changing in the country, the Lacks family continued to misunderstand Hopkins and believed that the HeLa cells were stolen and sold intentionally for commercial purposes. It enlarged the misunderstanding between the Lacks family and Hopkins since the researchers at Hopkins, although did take the cells, didn’t do so for commercial needs.
“Gey was relieved that companies had taken over HeLa distribution so that he didn’t have to do it himself, but he didn’t like the fact that HeLa was now copletely out of his control” (103).
Where did all these misunderstandings stem from in the story, anyway? Dr. George Gey allowed the HeLa distribution for scientific uses, but he never wanted profit to be involved. However, misunderstanding grew from here that Gey drove the commercial world of HeLa distribution.
Best friends?
How relationships have been entangled due to misunderstandings reminded me of one of my favorite romantic comedy Love, Rosie. Alex and Rosie have been best friends since childhood, but misunderstandings such as a mistaken crush or kiss always got in the way as they were confined in their prolonged relationship as “best friends” while they had feelings for each other.
Bibliography:
- Skloot, Rebecca. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. Broadway Books, 2011. Print.
- STUDIOCANAL Australia. “LOVE, ROSIE OFFICIAL TRAILER [AUSTRALIA] 6th November.” Youtube, trailer by Studio Canal, Jul 8, 2014, www.youtube.com/watch?v=cweASWVpkVM
Hi Sunny,
After reading over your post, I can connect with your story of being misunderstood deeply. I know what it feels like when a single misunderstanding can lead to thinking that your own reputation is ruined. But I’m glad that everything was resolved after a meeting. Similar to your case, my reputation of being a “decent” student was ruined by my teacher as she accused me for copying homework. However, everything was fine after the meeting with the teacher alongside my mom. I do feel a bit concerned that just because of a single misunderstanding about a person that is not resolved or resolved too late can lead to rumors harming the victim’s reputation.
From the example you gave, I would like to ask a question. In Deborah’s perspective, why do you think she went on a tantrum? Do you think it is simply an issue regarding Skloot’s trustworthiness? Or is it because of something that reminded her of an unspeakable past? I personally think that she’s scared to be lied to again so she is more hesitant and takes more time for her to 100% trust someone.
Regarding to the movie you mentioned, I do believe that they should’ve cleared things up between their relationship before regretting at a later date. And because they are best friends, it’ll probably be easier to untangle the confusion compared to normal friends. What would you do if you are in the standpoint of Rosie? Would you confess? Or would you hide your feelings until the very last?
Howard.
Hi Sunny,
After hearing your personal experience about misunderstanding in your post, I totally understand that particular feeling as I had experienced something similar as well. In several cases, our intentions or ideas of determining decisions often got misunderstood by people as they seem us to put personal gains before the group benefits. In my case, I have been misunderstood as some of the other teammates have words about me saying that I have a bias in choosing my teammate. They believe that I tend to choose my closest friends as my teammates in several scrimmages within the team. But instead, my prior objective was trying to select the best players which include great sports IQ, strength, and the willingness to corporate as a team instead of something personal. This feeling of being misunderstood often stressed me out as I have to once again explain myself and my intentions to avoid tensions within the team, but it also helps me to develop and realize the importance of stating something clear at the start in order to prevent intense and arguable comments from the others.
As you made your personal experience to “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” specifically to the behavior of how Deborah Lacks misunderstood Rebecca assume that she is writing this book to gain personal profit in the story, I do have one concern about how Deborah will behave like that. Is it because of how her childhood negatively impact on such a sensitive event? or is it because of how “Belief bias” (the tendency for our preexisting beliefs to distort logical reasoning, making logical conclusions seem invalid) that Deborah had about John Hopkins Hospital played a role in this incident?
Overall, I am impressed with how we both shared similar experience about being misunderstood in certain cases. I’m looking forward to, if possible, your responses to my questions about your article!
Hi Sunny,
Your personal story is very relatable. A lot of times, we will think the worse of someone’s intention. This is why I believe strife isn’t just caused by misunderstanding, it is escalated by our automatic defense mechanism. People will unconsciously become defensive to distance themselves from a full awareness of unpleasant thoughts or feelings. . Just as you mentioned, when the person is turned down, she immediately thinks you guys are acting against her. This led me to think of a question: Will telepathy mend the conflict caused by communication? With telepathy, we will instantly understand each others’ intention. However, on top of the fact that no personal secrets can be kept, there won’t be shared experience of resolving something together. In your personal anecdote, you guys eventually remedy it and now understand each other even more.
The movie you introduced in your post also talks about misunderstanding between friends. I’ve read so many novels that have similar situation as the that romantic comedy Love, Rosie. One example would be where a male secretly loves his friend’s sister, and his friend’s sister also secretly loves him. But the male would purposely date another girl, saving his friendship but inadvertently hurting his friend’s sister. The two will constantly hurt each other’s feeling on accident, both misunderstanding each others’ real intention. Here is an interesting question: Would you confess your love to your friend? Or would you purposely date another to hide your feelings?
Thank you for sharing such interesting personal story and movie. I would love to read more of your posts.