Misunderstanding is a common thing in our lives; some causes of it include assumptions, the lack of communication and listening, and vague languages. Everyone is different. Therefore, it is hard to understand what other people mean, and it is even harder to guess another’s mind. The results of it can vary from conflicts to reconciliation, depending on the communication after the misunderstanding.
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“Our mind is COMPLICATED.”
Photo by David Matos on Unsplash
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Misunderstanding bothers me since I was a child, and it’s still continuing now. It was seven years from now, when me and my best friend had the first argument. I got a really low grade for an exam, and it was very upsetting. Noticing my odd behaviors, my friend asked me what happened, and I told her about the grade. I ask her to keep it a secret.
A day after that, I saw her laughing and chatting with another classmate. I immediately connect it to the grade I got, and assume that she betrayed me. Without confirming with her, I gave her the silent treatment.
A few weeks later, she wrote me a letter asking what happened, and I figured out that it was all my misunderstanding. Rejecting communication is a very immature decision, because friendship is a thing between two people, and you can’t make a decision by yourself.
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The above example of myself isn’t a big deal, but in the book The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot, a misunderstanding leads to a conflict.
Rebecca, a science journalist, worked with Deborah, the daughter of Henrietta Lacks, to figure out Henrietta’s life. Near the end of the book, they didn’t only find the story of Henrietta Lacks, but also the story of Deborah’s sister, Elsie.
When they figured out that doctors said Elsie has idiocy, Deborah said she didn’t want others to know about it. As Rebecca promised that she won’t, she smiled.
Not because I thought it was funny, but because I thought it was sweet that she was protective of her sister” (283).
This is where the misunderstanding happens. Deborah thought that Rebecca was lying because she was smiling, and Deborah assumed that she wasn’t taking it seriously.
For the first time since we met, I lost my patience with Deborah” (283).
The trust between those two broke. Deborah is a very sensitive person, and she viewed that smile as a sign of lying. While Rebecca, who has been through all those untrusting moments, finally breaks out.
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Trust and communication are some things essential for a relationship to last. It might hurt to trust someone and be betrayed, and it is also hard to trust someone if you have been hurt. This is when communication comes in handy. It might be complicated, but trust me, the result might surprise you!