Misunderstanding is a common thing in our lives; some causes of it include assumptions, the lack of communication and listening, and vague languages. Everyone is different. Therefore, it is hard to understand what other people mean, and it is even harder to guess another’s mind. The results of it can vary from conflicts to reconciliation, depending on the communication after the misunderstanding.
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“Our mind is COMPLICATED.”
Photo by David Matos on Unsplash
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Misunderstanding bothers me since I was a child, and it’s still continuing now. It was seven years from now, when me and my best friend had the first argument. I got a really low grade for an exam, and it was very upsetting. Noticing my odd behaviors, my friend asked me what happened, and I told her about the grade. I ask her to keep it a secret.
A day after that, I saw her laughing and chatting with another classmate. I immediately connect it to the grade I got, and assume that she betrayed me. Without confirming with her, I gave her the silent treatment.
A few weeks later, she wrote me a letter asking what happened, and I figured out that it was all my misunderstanding. Rejecting communication is a very immature decision, because friendship is a thing between two people, and you can’t make a decision by yourself.
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The above example of myself isn’t a big deal, but in the book The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot, a misunderstanding leads to a conflict.
Rebecca, a science journalist, worked with Deborah, the daughter of Henrietta Lacks, to figure out Henrietta’s life. Near the end of the book, they didn’t only find the story of Henrietta Lacks, but also the story of Deborah’s sister, Elsie.
When they figured out that doctors said Elsie has idiocy, Deborah said she didn’t want others to know about it. As Rebecca promised that she won’t, she smiled.
Not because I thought it was funny, but because I thought it was sweet that she was protective of her sister” (283).
This is where the misunderstanding happens. Deborah thought that Rebecca was lying because she was smiling, and Deborah assumed that she wasn’t taking it seriously.
For the first time since we met, I lost my patience with Deborah” (283).
The trust between those two broke. Deborah is a very sensitive person, and she viewed that smile as a sign of lying. While Rebecca, who has been through all those untrusting moments, finally breaks out.
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Trust and communication are some things essential for a relationship to last. It might hurt to trust someone and be betrayed, and it is also hard to trust someone if you have been hurt. This is when communication comes in handy. It might be complicated, but trust me, the result might surprise you!
Hi Elaina,
The way how you interpret misuderstanding by connecting a scene from the book to your own experience really makes me think of my own experience of misunderstanding! I totally agree with you that misunderstanding really can lead to a bigger problem even if it started off small. But I’m curious that do you think the action of Deborah accusing Rebecca might be because of the lack of safety? I feel like Deborah is very anxious on the trip due to her experience of others stealing her mothers cloth and telling lies.
Hi Elaina,
Your connections and explanation of “misunderstanding” really made me think about the behavior of human brain. It’s hard to interpret what people actually think of you, just like Rebecca Skloot. At first she thought Deborah can finally trust her with all the information given to her, but later in the scene where you mentioned from above. We can see the anxious mind fo Deborah, doesn’t really trust Skloot. With this complicated relationship, what would you do to gain Deborah’s trust. I think if Skloot were do some more actions, maybe Deborah would trust her more.