Anderson's Blog

The age and language barrier between my dad and mom has caused a lot of problems for us, and it is still a major problem. My dad has been a “cold” person on his outside, but he loves every one of us inside his heart, but the problem is, his coldness causes a lot of arguments and fights in the family since it is often misunderstood. He’s a very stubborn guy, so he doesn’t like it when other people tell him to say sorry or to change, and I believe this is because his parents raised him under traditional Japanese culture, in which men should be the backbone of the family, and men should be more powerful than women. A few years ago, my mom, who’s also a very determined woman, decided to start her own business, my dad gave full support until my dad’s business went downhill, and my mom’s “surpassed” his. He never said it but I could understand that he felt “ashamed”, because he wanted to keep his dignity. Well, my mom didn’t understand, as she became more successful, she started to instruct my dad what to do in to save his business, and of course, my dad was triggered. So they were pretty much-having arguments every week, it eventually caused distrust between the two, they even accused each other of a lot of shaming things that never happened. As kids, my sister and I played the silent role, because we could never build a bridge between the two, every time we tried to stop the fight, my dad would be more triggered, and started to fight me, and my mom would blame me for making the fight more intense. But as time passes, their relationship is getting better and better, my dad would try to be less cold, and my mom would be less commanding.

I believe the story of my family is related to the relationship between Rebecca Skloot and Deborah in the Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks because distrust played a very important role in both stories. In the story, since Rebecca Skloot is white, and Deborah has experienced a lot of unfortunate things that were involved with white people. She felt threatened all the time, even after they became friends. She would still doubt Rebecca Skloot for working for the other “white people”, and the distrust between the characters eventually led to a big fight. But they eventually get back together because they’re sharing the same goal, which is to reveal everything about Henrietta Lacks. Trust is a very important factor in any relationship, a lot of times, what led to a break up between friends or couples is when one unconsciously shows a little distrust to another.